Man it sure made me feel good to see messages from "old" friends - you guys are great and I appreciate you checking in on me.
Rob - I'm checking in on you as much as I can - I'm confident I'll see you in this forum soon!
jorge and mockers - send me links to your latest threads so that I can enter them into my favorites list.
Just a quick update: W has been wanting to change the setting of her wedding ring and the 5 yr anniv band that I had given her (she wears more silver colored jewelery now and the rings are set in gold) She met with a jeweler friend today and then called me and went through what she wanted to do. After she was done, she asked if it would be okay since I had given them to her - she didn't want to hurt my feelings by changing them if it would bother me. I told her that I had given those to her as symbols of my love and that exactly what they looked like didn't matter to me - they were hers to wear/display however she wanted. She then said it might be a little expensive and before she could tell me the price I said that cost was not a factor - I wanted her to be happy to wear them and be comfortable wearing them whenever she wanted. I could feel the appreciation in her voice when she said thank you.
I tell you this b/c this is a simple example of a 180 for both of us - and an example of how the DB/DR theories work (even if you know nothing about them). This time last year, she probably would have gone ahead and done what she wanted without even asking me what I thought. That would have lead into a fight and more resentment on both of our parts. Now, we both approached the situation with the others thoughts in mind and we both feel great about the resolution to the issue and how we involved each other to get there.
Like I've said before, this is a way of life and once you grasp that concept, you're well on your way to a successful relationship - first with yourself, then with your spouse or SO.
