I am much stronger this time around, because I know I can survive without him. I just dont want to.
I just get so confused trying to figure out what is true and what is lies. I try and hold onto the memories of the wonderful man I married not the deceptive one of this past year.
I try and figure out if my feelings for him are all based upon lies and what is reality to me...really isn't.
Does that make sense?
I truely believe my husband is caught up in the feelings of excitement from an affair. He never truely gave everything up, even if he says he did..he really didnt by sending her money to repay her, her responding that she got it. Its all part of a vicious cycle of deceit and the thrill of never getting caught. And he was continually thinking of her...
It sucks the whole thing. I have continued to be bitter towards her.. she was my friend and betrayed me. But, I can honestly say I forgave him and was moving forward. Trying to make a go of our marriage.
Its all out of my hands now. He decided ...so that is that. I will never accept a relationship between them... who knows what will happen. I do know I can make her life misaerable!
