Hi Karen, Pollyanna, Vicky, Kev. Thanks for responding. Girls, I can't believe that your H's mention OW in front of you. I guess I have been lucky. My H pretends that she doesn't exist and is respectful enough not to say anything about her in my presence. Small mercies, I guess. Kev, yes, I have been feeling better the last couple of weeks, my career is going well and my mood is improved greatly so I have been doing light-hearted things even when my H is around.
My H did something very different the last time I saw him. A couple of weeks ago, I had called him up after a visit and told him that if he wanted to change schedule, he must do it face to face with the kids and that this home is not his hotel. Well, two days ago, he took out the calendar and very gently told the kids that he won't be around for the next two weekends. I almost fell off my chair. 1) that he is going away on business (which I think is only half true - I think he is going away on pleasure with OW as well) 2) that he actually listened to what I had to say about needing to tell the kids himself and I am not his messenger.
Maybe he is finally being a little less selfish and thinking about what other people are saying to him and considering other people's feelings. Which is a GREAT sign.
I am still feeling good about the H swollen eyes over the weekend. I hope their spat is ongoing. He says he is going to come and see the kids once during this week, which he never does because he is going to be away. OK, I said.
I sense a change in H. A sense that things are starting to shift. I can't put my finger on it but I feel it, call it a woman's intuition. I don't know what it means right now but I feel like it's a positive shift in terms of my goals. I am trying not to get my hopes up but my radar is up.
I feel that he is paying attention to what I am doing eventhough he never asks about me or my life. I feel that he is just a little bit more respectful. I feel that maybe he is experiencing trouble in paradise and may almost be ready to look up and around to see what he has missed out on in the last year.
Will keep you all posted. This may all be in my head and have no basis, we will just have to see...
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
