It's Not Like on T.V.

[PositivelyMommy]

DrHemlock, I get the sense that you wish with all your might that your W will reconsider and move back in with you. What everyone here is trying to tell you is that the harder you hold on, the more she wants to get away. That's why 'drop the rope' is a strategy that many have tried. It doesn't mean that you give up on your M. It just means that you find in yourself a way in which you can 'let go' of what is happening within your W, to concentrate on your life for awhile and not try to hold on so hard.

If you can't find it within yourself to drop the rope, then you need to act 'as if' you have dropped the rope. The point of which is to convince your W that you are continuing on with your life without her and you are doing very well, that you are confident and strong and attractive and you don't NEED her.

Our WAS are finding us too clingy right now, too dependent and we have become a burden to them. It could be totally unfounded, of course, but that is what they think so we just need to accept it. So by dropping the rope, in her eyes, you stop becoming the clingy, whiny pathetic mess that she is no longer attracted to. Instead you will be acting more like someone who is a potential BF material. This will take a long time and much more patience that you ever thought you will need. But if you really want to save your M then you need to have loads of patience and acting ability.

So DrHemlock, think Heath Ledger, Sean Penn, Robert De Niro. If she says anything that makes you nervous about her moving ever further away from you, don't panic. Just agree with her (again, acting ability). She won't be expecting it. Reverse psychology is an extremely powerful tool!