It sounds like you realize some of what is in store. Which is good, your right it will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. You could do everything right and it still may not work.
It is good that you see your faults as well. Instead of putting your focus on her craziness, put it on you and your kids. Work on you right now.
My wife and I also did the counseling thing, in my opinion it got worse after that. They generally will play by the same book but things will be different as people are different.
