AJ It's so weird to be happy someone else knows my hell and pain, but I am so grateful for you and your insight. My H talks about going out of town with me too, for a gambling trip. (I know that sounds horrible, but we love blackjack and never drop the mortgage money at the casino, only what we can afford to lose, which isn't too much right now) I do have a child who will be three soon and yes, he does pull the pouting crap now. Makes me crazy and sometimes it's cute, but not often and it's never cute in a grown man. On a scale of 1 to 5, at Christmas I would say we were a -2. He was very much into his EA and she really was just using him to have her ego stroked after her boyfriend dumped her in great embarassing fashion. She would NEVER hang out with him, but H thought it was because he was married and he was really pushing to get out then. I may be the only person in the world grateful for her debt and this economy because that is the only thing that stopped him at that time. Since then she has taken up with another guy who I'm told is plastered all over her desk and social web site pages. I think he may be a little heartbroken over this but he denies the EA and says he is really really over her because there was never anything there. Yet he has issues with her and her crazy ex-boyfriend who has contacted me in the attempts to start fights or get me to start them. I tell H to let them know to leave me alone as I've promised him I have no desire to speak with ex OW from his EA. (She called me to apologize after he boyfriend went to their work place and dumped her in front of everyone for her outside of work contact with a married man. She was telling the boyfriend that me and H were happily married and they were just friends. In actuality, when the ex-boyfriend called me to let me know about this "friendship" I let him know that H had moved out and we were separated. I didn't know he was unaware of that. Oh well.) So I stopped contacting her, but I think she is afraid of me and wanted to check in with me. I blocked her number from my cell, so she started emailing me instead. So I could go on but I have no will--so long story short, H is having a hard time deciding who to believe. Is this girl really that crazy and her ex-boyfriend....are they really harassing me? Or am I making it up? I told him today, I am shocked at your gaul. I have always been loyal to you and this person has never picked you. He says he wants to trust me and he does trust me more. Whatever. For now, I'm going just deal with that and that's why I needed some space. I told him today I need a break. He has our son for the next three nights and I'll see him when he drops S off with me each evening. (H has a job that gets him up very very early so S can't stay with him during the week.) Last Saturday morning when he left for golf, I would have said we were a 3 and half which I was very very happy with. Then Saturday afternoon, he came home an absolute weirdo. I think what happened is that he found out about a co-worker's pool party and he wanted to go. I have issues with this because some of his co-workers are incredibly young, in their early 20's. I've told him and his good friend that also works with him that they look like the creepy old guys. But I think this is part of his MLC, he wanted to go. And don't get me wrong, it wasn't just my H, his friend and 20 something year old women. There were plently of people there that are more their age, but the party was at one of the younger person's apartment complex pool. So that kind of behavior frustrates me. But I am learning to let him do his thing and try to say nothing. I was hopeful a few weekends ago when he texted me all night about "how lame this town is." He texted me from home at 1:00am complaining about being "too old for this bleep." I was very encouraged then. But you are absolutely right, SLOW THIS TRAIN DOWN. That is going to be my new focus. I am going to go as dark as I can this week, which is difficult with a small child between us. And then "lighten up" sometime next week. But that's a great idea and I feel so much better just knowing I have some direction here. AJM, please stay with me and keep me in line. I've made the most wonderful people here and I have no idea what any of you look or sound like. It's crazy. And where can I find your thread?
