Let me ask you what would have happened if he put single?
Once I saw the question, I expected him to leave it as single or blank. So I already set myself up for the worst, so that I can handle myself accordingly.
I have a quick question.... Does MLC ALWAYS have to involve OW, or can he go through it and never cheat? Right now there isn't one, and I'm hoping we never get to that stage, especially since we are getting along better than we have in over a yr.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
It's better for you if you expect one. And even then it sucks. Look, no not everyone in MLC has an affair. Look, the ammount of posters whos MLC spouse had an affair compared to those that did not...is too high not to plan for the worst.
"My husband/wife would never do that."
Sadly...too many do.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Hey You, Yes, the dance. I hate it!! But AJM really gave some great advice and wonderful encouragement. I told him today I just need a few days away from him. He's got S for the next three nights after work so I can relax and will only have to see him when he drops S off to me at night. He said Ok to letting me have some breathing room and I think was sort of surprised that I wanted the breathing room. But really, I need it. I have so many more important things to be thinking about right now, not that my marriage isn't important to me, obviously, it is. But I have some serious career decisions to make here and it will involved some hard ball with my game face. I can't be distracted for the rest of the week. How are you doing? I think your weekend was better than mine!
I'm acting as if I'm ok. Every time I get the cheek kiss it feels like a slap in the face. The very 1st day I met him he kissed me on the lips, now after everything we've been through & I get the cheek. I know it's better than nothing, but it bugs me. Now that things are a tad bit different, I need to rewrite some of my DB goals. I wonder when is the right time to "ask for what I want" as the book says. So far it seems like no time soon.
Enjoy your time alone. When my H goes out of town next wk, I'm planning on ending the girls over to my mom's and having the whole wknd to myself. (even though I hate being alone at night, makes me jittery LOL, but I need some ME time too)
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Yeah, the cheek is better than nada. And chances are, he knows it gets to you and we both know he loves the real kisses with you too. So why he wants to down grade, I have no idea. These men are crazy 2, just crazy. You do deserve me time and I hope yours is awesome. I wish we could call each other.
You are right. I'm sure I will enjoy "me" time, since I'm usually in Mom or wife mode. But I feel a lil' bad for wanting to be alone from my girls too. I just feel like I need a "break"
Some time to think, and do as I want on my schedule no one else's. My girls are in private school and begin their day pretty early, 7:45 AM. I get them at 6:00 PM then it's crunch time, cooking, laundry, HW, cleaning, ironing, walking the dogs...Give give give. So 1 wknd completely to myself once in a yr, and once in the past 9 yrs is much needed and deserved. But I can't help but feel a lil' guilty as a mom. Everytime my H goes out of town I plan different things for me and the girls, but this time I'm feeling like I just want to be alone 1 wknd, then the next wknd I can do a special girl thing with them.
Why is putting myself 1st so darn hard?
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
He is extremely responsible also, and that's why he's still home, he knows ai can't afford our way of living on my own, and also he doen't know the way to tell our girls. And in the past when the D talk has come up he's reminded me that he's leaving ME not our girls. I guess to make it sting more. But he is a very responsible parent.
(He gets home a lil late b/c he has 2 jobs so we can afford our lifestyle and keep our girls in private school)
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
I don't know if he really says that to make it sting more or not. I think he is trying to lessen the guilt load a bit. My wife used to say she is not leaving her family. She would never acknowledge the fact that we were a family. In a wierd way she viewed the kids, herself and her family as a family. I was not included.
