Right before Thanksgiving my W dropped the bomb that she had a one time fling and she was pregnant. I forgave her and we decided to work on our relationship. I really took a look at myself and how I treated her. I was very controlling and needy. I was always checking up on her etc. She had an abortion in December. Things between us seemed to improve. Feb 6 I caught her in a lie and she came home drunk and told me that it wasn't a one time thing, that she was having an ongoing affair with her boss since October. She said she loved both of us and didn't know what to do, that she was confused. She left for the weekend to think about things. When she came home she was very warm to me and then turned very cold and said that the only reason she came home was for the kids, that we would basically co-exist. She was warm to me the rest of the week and told me that she was going to work on our relationship but she needed time. I asked what she was getting out of the affair and she said independence.
On Feb. 17th I caught her in another lie. She said she had to work late but she ended up being with the OM. She came home and blew up at me like it was my fault she lied to me. She said she was leaving grabbed some of her stuff and was gone. She stopped by the house a few days later and said that she wanted to be a mom but didn't want to be in a relationship. She gave me the ILYBINILWY. We talked for awhile and decided that our relationship had grown out of a great friendship so we were going to start with rebuilding the friendship. She agreed to go to MC. We went to one session together. C told my wife that she is running from her problems. Referred her for IC because the C says she needs help badly. My W holds onto everything that has ever hurt her. W starts her IC next week.
Right now she is staying at a friend's house but is adamant to get herself an apartment. She says she needs to be alone so she can sort things out.
Of course when I first found out I did the whole begging pleading thing. I have learned to back away and have started to detach emotionally from her.
This past weekend I made a slight mistake of making some R talk. I told her I didn't understand exactly what ILYBINILWY actually meant. She said she didn't know either. That she's hoping that the counseling will help clear her mind. She told me that she wants to try everything before saying our M is over.
Sorry this is so long. Please give feedback as to what direction I should go. Thanks
