WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

Spellfire,

Those are good points. Relative to "Even though I wont be able to remain friends with you if you choose to leave,..." Would that cover the separation as well or would it be in the case of a divorce. Seems like it would be hard to DB if she moves out and I tell her I won't remain friends - unless that's part of going dark/last resort technique. I'm just trying to be prepare my wall as she seems hell bent on moving on with the separation/divorce

I had thought this weekend's "reality check" by her was a major setback, but the reality is that this is no change from when she dropped the bomb. She had said during the first 1-2 weeks, when I was an emotional wreck, she considered withdrawing the divorce petition as I wanted to work on the marriage, but obviously she decided to just continue. Perhaps if I was DB'ing right away it would have helped, but I can't change the past.

The counselor always starts by asking us how things are going so I just want to be prepared with something. The message I'm trying to send is to to reinforce how I've changed and the changes are real. Originally the second half was to get her to talk about her hurt/anger and trying to let it go, but I guess I should drop that part. Perhaps I should just close with I believe that the marriage can still work and recognize some recent positive

Anyway, how about this:

These sessions have been helpful as I have been very open to find out what was wrong with me. And these have been reflected in my changes. Last Weds our oldest son really drove it home to me when he commented about how I was acting differently. When I asked him in a good way or bad way? He said definitely a good way. That's when it really hit me why I was making these changes and it really reinforces that I need to make sure these changes becomes habits.

Now I still believe in the marriage and that it can work. I feel that we are now more open to sharing and we're getting more comfortable with talking.

Hopefully the counselor will try to bring up getting past and letting go of her anger - our counselor touched on that for the first time in our last session.