AJM-- I am actually trying not to cry right now. Thank you so so much.
I am just so confused because he says one thing, "we're not getting back together....if it wasn't for this economy this would be over now.....I haven't been married in months", you get the picture but then he's with us SO much and he doesn't have to be.
My girlfriend was telling me "When a man wants a divorce, he leaves and doesn't hang out with the woman he wants to divorce even if they have kids.....and he is with you guys every night, even on your weekends and nights to have your son. That's not normal for a man who really wants out."
I put so much hope in that because it says in DR "don't believe anything they say and only 50% of what they do." It's just so hard to figure out what 50% of what they do to believe. And what if he says something great? Very confusing.
I had another girlfriend who got divorced about a year ago. She came home and he was there. Except none of his stuff was. He took the day off and packed his things and moved them to a new apartment. He told her he wanted a divorce and didn't see her again except to do their tax work and then again to make the divorce final. So did understand that normally when someon truly wants out, it can be done quickly and with very little contact, esp. without kids.
So I asked him once after he said "It's over" why are you around so much? He said I manipulated the schedule so he had to be in order to see our S. I told him "You have him Mondays, Wednesday, every other Thursday (for family night) and every opposite weekend. And you helped me develop that schedule. You don't have to be around when it's not your night. You do get to see him a lot with this schedule." He basically told me if he did that he would be a crappy father. I said Ok, I understand. I asked him for more time away from him so I could start to get over my failing/failed marriage. He said ok.
Guess what? He is still around, just as much as ever. So what is a girl supposed to think about that?
After the most recent round of crap from this morning, I asked him for a break. He said "What does that mean?" I told him that I was upset and irked about somethings, he said he understood and even apologized. "I don't want to hurt you." I said thank you, please, let's take the next few days all of which you have S, and let me see you a lot less. Let's cut back on the contact COMPLETELY unless related to S. He agreed. I told him what my schedule would be for the next three nights, tennis tonight, yoga tomorrow and tennis practice on Wednesday. Then the rest of the week into the weekend, S is with me. He said OK. I just really need a breather here. Any more advice? Or just stay the course of GAL and no longer discussing our relationship in any way? Is this still classic WAS with a little MLC in it?
