Been doing lots of thinking, this has all been so confusing for me. He does keep contacting me, but he wont see me. His BMF tells me he misses me and apparently thinks about me all the time, when he's with her/talking to her, misses our homelife etc, but its not obvious by his actions is it? Yes he sent me a birthday present and said he 'kinda wished he could be there', but he wasnt, nor did he arrange another night out to see me. Is he just really moral? Does he really not want to see me at all whilst with her, whether its going to last or not? If I was so precious to him, he would find a way to see me, wouldn't he, s*d what she thinks. Is he still processing/undecided? What would he do if I stopped being nice to him?
Well, just a few questions. What would it take for you to move on and stop spending all this energy on wondering why he does what he does? Is it realistic to think he'll come out and Declare to you that he will never want to live with you again? If that is not realistic (and I don't think he is the "declaratory" type) then what is it, that is enough for you?
You said you wanted to be friends with him but when he does things friends do, like getting a thoughtful gift, it causes you pain and confusion. I understand that. I really do. But you are putting yourself in a bind b/c it's not really true that you want to be friends with him, except as a basis for more... I know you've made personal 180's. But you still spend so much internal time on him...wondering and analyzing. Do you have a timeline in your heart about how long you'll do this until you stop?
Just some thoughts. Sorry about the flat situation. I hate the whole permit thing b/c when it comes to "safety issues" sure that's one thing, but some of it I swear is just governmental agencies trying to justify their jobs and fees...good luck on that. (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
