Yes, there is good reason to be patient. H is a perfectly wonderful guy, a great friend, a great roommate, a loving father. He is dedicated. He is sweet. He is smart, clever, creative. We have a 1-yr-old, and we both want to give him the best life possible.
I'm the only one here with a problem. I'm the only one who feels dread.
H is *trying* as much as he can or is willing. As long as he tries, I can't give up on him. Yet, anyway.
Me *trying* looks like me putting forth plenty of opportunity for ML, working on being more sexy and less "pretty mommy." That doesn't seem like much work, but it does get tiring sometimes to put it all out there without much coming back.
How can I put this... H responds to my sexuality and playfulness with a smile, with a reciprocal kiss, with a pat on the butt. But he isn't initiating playfulness, sexy behavior... I don't think he feels sexy or worthy of sex.
So, I sometimes feel that I'm playing the role of the man by being the one who thinks about our sex life and works on displays to entice him and please him. I make it easy for him. He can tell when it's a low-risk time to initiate. When I'm not putting on a display, he will lay there with his head on my hip and not make a move.
I wish he'd bust through his fear. It's a form of paralysis.
