JDOllie's New Story!

[pollyanna]

Everyones situation is just plain sad.

Divorce has this ripple effect that touches many many people.

In my line of work I am in constant contact with people in our situation. I have talked to 100s of separated , divorced people and the only people who seemed to of felt any sorrow or remorse was those who had done the leaving. There sadness was not about the LBS but the kids and the realisation that all there subsequent relationships offered them no more than what they had left.

Plenty of problems outside of the Marriage as well as in their new relationships. Whereas those who had been left seemed to of sorted through the loss and the grief and forged ahead with better choices .

Interesting !

[Tawnya]

{{JD}} welcome back..glad you had a fun day with the kids and yum Chipotle!! I am glad you didn't send me a picture of the chips and salsa..I LOVE chips and salsa and you totally make me want some right now LOL

AND..a get together with the 3 minute hug lady..welllll..I already gave you a tough time about that in the alt..LOLOL, but figured I'd say something too That's GREAT and good for you

Sounds like you are doing great and don't worry about your small little backstep today..tomorrow is a new day (said in my best Scarlett O'Hara southern drawl

Tawnya

[song]

Whereas those who had been left seemed to of sorted through the loss and the grief and forged ahead with better choices .

Well that gives me a ray of hope

[JDOllie]

Oh, I fully expect what Pollyanna describes to happen.

So, I wanted to journal before I forgot:

I was lying talking to D8 - and she seemed to be struggling with something.

She finally said, "I know something bad OM said to Mommy." I asked her what it was, and she said Mommy made her "promise to God" not to tell me. So, I kind of bugged her for a little bit, and she said she didn't want to tell me until she found out if it was OK with Mommy, so I felt bad and told her not to tell me. I told her I didn't want her to feel like she had lied to W, but I didn't want her to think that she had to keep secrets from me.

Again, I feel great because W told her, "What happens in the apartment, stays in the apartment." Seriously, she completely stole the Vegas line.

Anyhoo, I was starting to leave, and D8 said, "Well, all I can tell you is that OM told Mommy she needed to work on something." Then she said that "Mommy was crying".

So, I didn't push. I just told her again that I didn't care what she told Mommy, and I loved her, and she can trust me, etc.

But, holy cow! OM and W "date" for 3 months, and now he's criticizing her?

This, my friends, is a good day! I'm sorry if I'm gloating, or being vindictive, but hee hee!

[SRTTF]

Hi JD, I'm glad you had a great weekend. I wanted to say that it is sad that the W is even asking your D to keep a secret. That is so hard on the kids because all they see is someone they love hurt.

I have to say that anytime I hear that my H and OW are having problems I gloat too. Hell I will have a party the day they break up LMAO.

Well again nice to hear from you and have a great day

[pearlharbr]

(((JD)))

I'm sorry to hear my melancholy/bad weekend was contagious! First Tawnya, now you...

I know it's hard and you've been dealing with everything so well. I'm going to take this opportunity to lightly slap your wrist because I care.

It sounds to me that you're still wrapped up with W's emotions/actions dictating your own happiness. Not completely, but enough for me to say something. Drop the rope my friend, really drop the rope. Not just by saying all the right things but by living like anything your W does is water off a duck's back.

Just a friendly reminder of what you already know. And now I'm off to try to follow my own advice!

[Startingover2]

JD...glad you had a good weekend.

Pearl had a good point. I am guilty of the same thing though so don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I see trouble in paradise with OW and exh and it makes me happy. The things your kids say about OM/W makes you happy too. We both need to remember that things can switch like the wind, and what they do shouldn't bother us. Sure, I love that for whatever reason OW and exh hardly spend any time together at all anymore and he seems to be alone, but the goal is to not care at all what they do or don't do.

Stay strong.

[pearlharbr]

Thanks SO2, you said it much more succintly and to the point. Of course I understand doing the happy dance when things go badly for S/OM/W. Heck, I was grinning for a day when I found out OW got laid off by their employer. Karma!

It just feels you are still doing a lot of things in order to have some impact on what W is doing/thinking/feeling. Keep the goal in mind.

I still think you're doing a great job and admire your strength and commitment. Perhaps Amy and I will have to get you a pair of purple shoes!

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

I want purple shoes!!!


Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

[JDOllie]

I'm certainly available for a slap on the wrist, and I need them occasionally.

Honestly, Pearl/SO2, I don't go searching this stuff out. It just so happened that I could tell D8 was acting really funny.

I admit that I was enjoying W's discomfort - but my thoughts are getting fewer and further between - it's sort of like viewing it from a distance.