Seperated But Living Together

[2gthrButApart]

Could you spend some time while he is gone, getting your house really clean and trying to maintain it at that level?

Those are what my plans are. I'm going to send the girls to my moms, and clean the house from top to bottom. Btwn working full time, trying to go to the gym 4 days a wk, making sure I stay up to date with my girls and their skl work, cooking 5-6 nites a wk, and making time for my H in a non obvious way, things can get messy. I clean every single day, but it's not spic and span spotless. But I will get everything in order, and do a spring cleaning.

What are your suggestions?

Last nite he asked me if I could watch a DVD with him, so I did, he laid his hand across my stomach, open as if for me to put my hand in his, so I did, but he never grabbed it, but he also never moved his away, later on he held my leg. Things like this confuse me. He'll do all of this but only give me kisses on the cheek. Why??

I don't want to do things that may be persuing, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or get nervous.

What are some do's and dont's when it seems like he may be inching towards a reconciliation? Is it smart for me to become a lil distant when he's on his trip? So it doesn't seem like he has no time to breathe?

(Things might not seem "so bad" now, but we have been having problems for over a yr. Since Oct of 2007, said he wanted out but was willing to try, I just didn't know about this site or anything back then. We tried MC in 3/08, didn't like it, things got better in 8/08, very affectionate and loving, then the bomb was 10/08, said he doen't want to fix anything at all with me and the first time he ever said he wants a D, and no kissing or anything since around that time or nov of 08. He's brought up D around 4 or 5 times since then, but not since Jan 15. We would have great times, then he'd say something about not wanting to be with me, he's not happy with me, and I'd say but things have been going great, then he'd say You see that's your problem, just b/c I'm being nice you think everything is fine, and it's not. I'm still not happy, and I still want out.....So that's why I'm wondering if he's "just being nice" or if he really misses me)


Yesterday he went out, and surprised me, he bought me some new clothes, and said he had this surprise planned for a while already. ???? Said he was excited to surprise me, and had it planned fr about 2-3 wks. (Friday the 20th is our 7th wedding ann. Is this a gift, but not really?)

Oh, on Sat we were walking to the gym, and he told me he wants to buy me the new Ipod that came out last wk, he said the 1st time he saw it he knew he wanted to buy it for me.

We joined a new gym on Sat, while the manager was giving us a tour the manager made a joke of liking to watch the girls that dance in the mirror in the work out studio. My H said if he comes in to watch you, you call me and let me know b/c I don't like that Sh*t.

But then when we were leaving a diner later on he says come on lady friend, after he had been introducing me as his wife all day.

Oh another thing, on the gym application, it said Married or single, I said how about I put a question mark in, and he poked me with his pen, playfully, and he checked off Married on his, so then that's what I checked off on mine.


OK, Sorry for the long story LOL....What's your input?

1 more thing, he made plans to come with me out of state this next wknd, to my mom's to celebrate my sister's b-day, from Fri-Sun.