I think what you're dealing with is the stark realization of looking full-face into the REAL woman you are married to, rather than the IMAGE that SO many of us choose to BELIEVE we're married to.
I think many, many people (not just women) have this "I can change him/her" mentality; at least I know I did. "If I only say the right words, in just the right, persuasive sequence . . ." "If only I do the right things, help around the house, even GAL right, etc., etc. . . ."
I realized that MUCH of what I was in love with was the IMAGE of Mrs. Puppy, as I WISHED HER TO BE, rather than the reality of WHO SHE REALLY IS, warts and all.
I know you know all that already, INTELLECTUALLY, but maybe what you're dealing with is the raw emotions of having to actually stare all that in the face on Saturday and talk about it and deal with it.
Your wife is deeply flawed -- as we all are. I'm not so sure you had processed all of those flaws as they related to your marriage perhaps?
