Well, yesterday was a strange day. I took the bull by the horns and went round the house and gathered up all h's stuff and separated it from mine. Then I piled it all into the cupboard in the spare room so I no longer have to look at any of it - not that I really did before. However now I can shut the door and it doesn't have to be touched again until it finally all goes.
It was a bit sad - although I still can't cry for some reason. I just realised how before he left he was really making this his home (well till about a month before). He was sorting all his trains and his magazines and stuff into boxes and getting ready to start his model railway. Of course there were all the memories we shared together which made me sad. I still can't believe he threw a 7 year relationship inc. an 18 month marriage away for a fling that at that point had lasted a month - I suppose that I know of but I my gut tells me that is true. Especially after all we had been through together with the illness. It was funny because I remembered something he had said just after he had left and it made me realise that he hadn't really planned to leave at all - he just suddenly made the decision and did it.
I know I shouldn't dwell. I suppose it was seeing all the stuff that made me sad. I just can't believe that he threw everything away the first time we even had vague problems and chose another woman.
Well, it is done now. I have to believe it because it is the reality. It is just very sad and hurtful.
On the plus side I found some cool stuff that was mine!
