Actually, I think you did good. And let me tell you why. "It seems like I'm bothering you so I'll leave" is code for "I'm an imposition. I'm a victim in this. Poor pity me, the family I left doesn't want me anymore. wah-wah."
So I think it's GREAT if you left it at that. Let her sit and stew.
On the other hand, I would like for you to take the high road and put your ring back on. You're still married til the papers are signed. It is a sign of disrespect (to yourself, your daughter, and the M, and your wife, but we won't go there). It really torqued me when I saw H without his rings. I took mine off after I noticed he didn't have his on. I even waited a couple days to make sure it wasn't a one time deal. It wasn't. I took mine off and when he noticed he called me on it. To which I was able to reply "I only took mine off because I saw you did." This was after I realized I wanted to work on the M. I regret it now. After a few weeks, I put them back on. Then after he took her home for Christmas, I gave him the rings and told them I didn't want them or care about them unless he was putting them back on my fingers. I wanted there to be meaning behind why I wore them - I falsely attached the meaning with him giving them to me, not just because I attached the meaning myself. Now, I have a simple James Avery ring that I bought about 6 or 7 years ago that I wear. jamesavery.com if you are interested for your daughter. very tasteful, often religious silver/gold jewelry, charm bracelets, girlie stuff if she is into that but it's very ....classy. They are from the Texas hill country, but I think of them more as classy Savannah Georgia jewelry. Anyway. So I wish I still had my real rings on my fingers, but this one is me, and that's what I'm learning.
New book for you that you can get at Walmart. It is called Broken Open. It is Phoenix stuff, rising from the ashes. I think you will like it. how difficult times can help us grow. She made mistakes. her husband made mistakes. They had life lessons to learn. It is a different way of looking at things, but some of it seems to be very DB, so far. "no problem has ever been solved from the same consciousness that created it." that's DB. there were a few other things, too. it is not pro-marriage. it is pro-GAL. It is not anti-marriage either. It is about you finding yourself and that sometimes we have to be "broken open" to do that. To truly open and let others into our lives.
Anyway. Well, the idea about something like this bringing two people closer together didn't work. It was my hope, too. The girl moved out but the friendship is still there. he is willing to risk his career over it because he was told to move her out and she did...but so now she is still there every night then goes home to her own place. was gonna take D4 back to the hospital tonight but she was there, so i skipped it and let him know that i did and why and he got mad. that's his choice. he can be mad. IT IS VERY VERY VERY hard for me to remember that I DO NOT WANT THIS MARRIAGE BACK AT ALL COSTS. I want a right marriage and I am not gonna let him walk all over me. He said why won't you bring D4. Told him I was not gonna take her up there when OW doesn't respect me and he has the nerve to say, "And you respect her??" lmao. Luckily, I am the parent. If he wants to subject the son to it, I don't think it's right, but the kid is 13 and ..... ugh, i should just go post this on my own thread. suffice it to say it didn't work. but his parents will be down next weekend and his mom is ready to beat his butt and i know she won't let her in the house, otherwise Brandon will totally hear all about it. I could still call the LtCol and talk to him. He is the only one this weekend who didn't totally treat me like crap. And talk to him about ordering those two to stay away from each other. But it's not realistic. And I want him to choose me. It's amazing. NO ONE likes this girl. I am totally not kidding. The command now hates her. H's friends hate her...one wife won't go over there at all cause she is there, the other wife told my H she wasn't coming over anymore because of the stitch...and his brother hates her...he is the only one who thinks she is the best thing...
It really must be a fog. Well, I remember that it was. So I am trying really hard to be...forgiving and understanding. But my daddy wants to kill him!
Okay. Really. I think you did good. I am proud of you. All those words ..."since 1995"... don't believe a single one of them. Don't let them get to you. She is just trying to justify it in her mind. She is rewriting the marriage history and just.....none of what you hear, bubba. Don't believe a damn thing you hear. Only half of what you see. Let her sit and stew in her own mess. The more you shut her out, NICELY, the more she is gonna want back in, I think. Firm detachment, but nice so that you don't seem punitive. Cordial. Like your great aunt Berta that knit you the shawl for Christmas when you were ten. You didn't really want to hug her, but you had to. You were polite, but that was absolutely IT. Yeah. Like that. She's Aunt Berta now.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
It was my hope, too. The girl moved out but the friendship is still there. he is willing to risk his career over it because he was told to move her out and she did...but so now she is still there every night then goes home to her own place. was gonna take D4 back to the hospital tonight but she was there, so i skipped it and let him know that i did and why and he got mad. that's his choice. he can be mad. IT IS VERY VERY VERY hard for me to remember that I DO NOT WANT THIS MARRIAGE BACK AT ALL COSTS. I want a right marriage and I am not gonna let him walk all over me. He said why won't you bring D4. Told him I was not gonna take her up there when OW doesn't respect me and he has the nerve to say, "And you respect her??" lmao. Luckily, I am the parent. If he wants to subject the son to it, I don't think it's right, but the kid is 13 and ..... ugh, i should just go post this on my own thread. suffice it to say it didn't work. 
