Kassie- If I get locked down, I'll start another thread in this topic.
Okay, well I didn't need to ask her about it. She said "I know you want to pay bills, but it's only $X for all of us and you're going to need one even going to Canada and I know you probably don't have any plans to go to Canada anytime soon, but they're good for like 10 years and a lot can happen in that time and this way you have one."
She said a couple of things that were odd today and slightly discouraging. One, she was supposed to have her friends sister visit, but the sister's kid was really sick and they figured it was best not to so the kids didn't all get sick. She said that she told her that the next time she goes to Vegas she plans to bring the kids with her, so maybe they could meet up then.
I know that's nothing too big, but it was talk of a future without me in it.
Then she was talking about how the crazy neighbor was mowing his lawn the other day (it's still rather cold here) and I told her if it keeps warming up like it does today I was considering it to pick up some of the stray leaves in the yard (winter came fast and early this time so a lot of lawns had leaf-covered lawns with snow piled on top of them). She said "I know, I'm thinking about buying a new lawnmower soon." I know this sounds stupid, but knowing her like I do, she was more referring to the idea that she was going to have to take care of the lawn from now on without me. Though that sounds like I'm paranoid and making a mountain out of a molehill, I can say with a lot of certainty that was what she was getting at.
Then, lastly, she was telling me that next week she was taking our old car to have it detailed so that she could sell it. Again, this was something that during our marriage we would have talked about. But in her mind right now, that car belongs to her and she can sell it or not sell it as she pleases.
So...
Thinks aren't entirely rosy on my end, but they could be worse. Still doing the 180s, still keeping a positive upbeat attitude in front of her and the kids, and still have some time to make a difference. I still think she's wavering, but not quite ready to come over. I'm giving her the space and I don't want to press her on anything right now because I don't want to push her in the wrong direction.
