Most Difficult Time of My Life

[Kokopelli]

Thank you so much everyone. I am struggling so badly. She just switched her phone over to her own account and I can't go in and look at her call logs anymore. Good thing I did this morning and documented everything so at least I have some proof. Unfortunately in AZ we are a no fault community property state. I don't think staying in the house is going to help. She told me today that she is moving on Friday, and asked why I can't be glad that she's happy. Wow, just writing that statements is like a stab in the heart.

She's so happy moving on without me...I don't get it, and I know I have to stop trying to. She is really throwing me into the cold on this one. At this point I am getting so angry and bitter I don't care about salvaging my marriage. I don't think I could ever forgive her for her actions. I just want the hurt to go away. The thought of her having an affair has been killing me. I keep picturing her with another man and it bothers me SO INTENSELY. The image of her shopping at Victoria's Secret is eating at me. I was told to prepare for this, but never imagined it was going to happen to me. I'm not trying to be the victim but the damn pain hurts so much I can't think about anything else.

I can't even imagine myself being with another woman right now, and it's a hard pill to swallow thinking that she has been with another man or is going to be very soon.