Stella, After reading your last couple of postings, I do not believe your h is any where near reconnection. He's still in the midst of his little crisis. Coming home was just a temporary fix to his problems. Some of them do come home again and then find that it's not working for them at all and have to leave again.
Your h sounds a lot like my xh was when he left, came home and left again. Let me put this out there to you and you think about it okay? When my xh came home the second time for 7 mths, it was like nothing was ever right, he would come and go, barely talk, was on the internet, sleeping, watching tv and yes, disappearing for hours and wouldn't tell me where he had been. We lived like ships passing in the night. One day, he threatened to leave again....I waited until the next evening and say "xh, I've been giving it a lot of thought and I think you should leave." He sat there and cried like a baby and said "w, I just don't know what to do...I'm so confused about everything." I left him alone and we continued w/the passing in the night and one night, just prior to him going for the final time he mentioned that I acted like nothing was wrong...I pointed out that I wasn't the one that was unhappy and needed to move out. He left within 5 days and has not been back here to live since. Now, I will warn you of this, if you do open the door for him to escape one more time, his anger may be worse than the first time around...at least my xh's was.
Stella, if you are absolutely certain that he needs to go, then so be it. Do not have another relationship talk w/him. Just simple put it that it's not working and until he can figure himself out, it might be best if he were living on his own. He already knows that you love him...just open the door and kindly tell him it's not working for him or for the family and he needs to figure things out w/o a lot of distractions. I know you can do this, Stella. All I ask is that you be prepared for the fall out.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
