Those are a lot of traumatic experiences. Just having a H leave with OW is traumatic in itself...terrible feeling.
You sound like you are starting to grow. Imagine yourself being a perenial flower who is just starting to poke her little head out of the ground to take a peak at the sparkling sky. She is ready to bloom.
Good work, Poet, I'm proud of you. Think of this note as if I were with you holding your hand. You are taking care of yourself, just by putting all those things aside for the moment. Poet, I had a massage this week. My brother paid for it, thank God. If you can, I recommend it. It's awesome!
Also, I am going to be along side of you, putting my worries about A aside while I work on my authentic self, as well.
