WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

She's still stomping around. It's almost like my 7 year old. Pretty sad

She says that she doesn't think I'm being flexible and working with her. I haven't been getting mad or emotional but just realized I haven't been compassionate either. I've asked her that I want her to tell me what she's expecting me to do. She keeps saying working with her to move forward with the seperation.

I told her that up haven't come up with any new ideas since we stopped talking last nite and asked if she had. She said no

I said that I felt last nite was productive as we both finally agreed on something. That we need to keep what is best for the kids in mind

She then tried to escalate again where she said she's going to stop doing what I want (counseling) until we come to agreement on custody

We had to pick up the boys from her mom's. When we got there the boys were excited to see us. I was glad to see them too. Her mom was saying how she will be over tomorrow so we can go to counseling. My wife didn't say anything but she stayed inside to talk to her mom when the boys and I were in the car

I think she finally told her mom what was going on with us. Her mom looked sad when we drove away. I asked her what they talked about when she stayed behind. She said just asked how it went last nite with the boys. I think I've finally caught her in a lie. Very disappointing

We went grocery shopping and I tried to act as if the relationship was ok.

When we got home I switched o compassion mode and said that I know she is frustrated and angry. This is one of the most important decisions of our lives and we can not let it be made out of negative emotions. We have to work together to decide what's best She seemed to relax a little when I said that.

Now I'm playing down in the basement playroom with my boys. We're having fun. She's still sulking.

I'm open to suggestions on next moves to diffuse some of the anger/frustration. Letting her sulk doesn't seem like a winning mood

I'm really detached as I still feel fine. Pretty scary.

I told her I was going to the gym later and this Tues I will be going out with some of my friends since she didn't want to do anything.