" I grew to enjoy it and still do after 3 and 1/2 years. I'm actually pretty shy about commitment anymore."
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you yet. Are you still hopeful?
No, I am not hopeful, but it isn't because of her. She wanted to reconcile about 6 months ago, but it was to late for me. We got divorced. I did want her back at one time and struggled with it for about 2 years. I'm a different person than I was back then. I have to many pursuits right now that are not compatible with having a Wife. I couldn't give a Wife what I now know is necessary for a lasting relationship. I've had two wives, a son with each of them and I am at a point in my life that I'm happy and content being single. Don't be sorry for me, I have no regrets.
You are still young. If you really desire this Woman, then your going to have to wait on her. These things take time, but you have that.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I am now living 10 hour drive away from her. We have had a little contact since I left a week ago.
She tells me that this time in our separation is different than it was earlier. This time she has hope for our marriage. This time she realizes it was not just me that was the cause of the break down.
She told me she is working on her.
If that is true and I am here trying to better my self and she is bettering her self. That leads me to the original reason I started this thread.
I am really not a jealous person but I feel it now. The fact that she replaced me so fast or at all. The fact that today she might be with him, The fear that just because I stumbled into depression she had to end our relationship regardless of an affair worries me.
I think I could forgive her but could I really? Will I ever feel safe in that if something were to happen to me like loss of the physical ability to earn a living etc.
How does one get through this in a separation when they can't look to their spouse for reassurance? How does that translate into saving the marriage. I don't mean getting over her, I mean how does one put the issues and spouse into a perspective that is recoverable for reconciliation as I am sure that if I sat here telling myself how wonderful I am and how much I deserve better than her and what she did is unforgivable, I could probably convince myself that I don't want or need her and that she was cruel to me, but I need to figure out how to forgive her if I am going to be happy with or even without her. HOW THE HECK IS THAT TO BE DONE!
Remember, she is looking at the marriage again so is "darkness" really recommended at this point?
We talked recently about both of our fear but desire to have a child very soon in our life and what we need to do to make that go smother like eliminate our small amount of debt, have jobs with health insurance etc.
I would really like to work through all of those questions.
Getting over a woman in my past patterns has meant. Tell yourself she is BAD and move on. Sleep with a few more girls and I will be okay. That is how I lived up till about a year before I met my W.
Getting over a woman in my past patterns has meant. Tell yourself she is BAD and move on. Sleep with a few more girls and I will be okay. That is how I lived up till about a year before I met my W.
This is all I know. How do I move past that?
1. Don't sleep with OW. 2. Don't think of your W as a bad person.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
