Iwondertoo, I'm pretty sure about the lack of PA. My husband is very passive and I felt the whole EA and now I feel differently. My eyes are wide open, though, and I accept a margin of error in my current knowledge.
Braveheart, I am very afraid of this and think a permanent emotional MLC could apply to my M. I think my husband wrestles with leaving us to make his initial EA decisions right in the first place. He is so without emotional and communication tools that at this point, I can't imagine him unwinding these problems. I can see him going forward, living on the emotional fringe of life and being a victim to avoid responsibility. I can't think of many times that he has apologized. It has been more like 'I'm sorry you are hurt."
H has made brief apologies after the bomb and before the bomb, was crying in my arms saying "I screwed it all up" and "I'm making poor choices." Around bomb time, he was more open about bigger issues--being passive, inferiority, feeling pressure to do what is expected, not participating if I'm around to make decisions, etc. Since the bomb he's talked less and less about the big issues and in the last 2-3 weeks, not talking at all. He talks at the MC (It's all about H!) but can't break through to emotions or why someone might want to be vulnerable to another. My IC points out the smallest flickers that suggest he could change but it's so little.
