Partner left after 9 yrs - Wants to finish with ow

[saffie]

Ali,

You know your ex, ( obviously), and none of us do.

I just want to throw a few ideas out there.

Is there a possibility that he 'acts' lower than he actually is when he either talks to you, or those who he knows will talk to you about him, because he doesn't want you to think he is having a grand time of things whilst he knows he has left you hurting and pining for him?

If the answer to that is NO, which I suspect you will say it is, then wouldn't a 180, (because let's face it things aren't really working for you at the moment - you have been stuck in this limbo for ages), be to actually either phone him or email him and be absolutely straight. Tell him, straight to him rather than letting him know through the grapevine, that you miss him and want him back. Ask him if that is a realistic hope to hold. Maybe he asked you in that serious tone how you were because he wanted you to tell him how much you miss him and want him back. You could both be pussy footing around one another and each waiting for the other to make the first move.

As I read it from your posts, you are gradually extracating yourselves from one another. You are selling this flat. I know you still have the house but each joint asset you dispose of is another link broken. Before too many links are broken why not try having a straight talk with him. It really does seem like it would be a 180 from all the things you post.

It could be just the catalyst you need to get your R with him back on track.