You know what Lan.. I have been around here a long time.
One of the things I have learned.. is that "this place" is a very good example of how we live our lives.
Everything that could happen in RL.. happens "here".
So.. with that being said. What is Kalni telling you?
She starts with this...
"Dont listen to Kalni sunshine. Look at her and where she is at..."
Right here.. she is telling you that "her" situation is different. But she can "see" where you might be lacking some.
Then using creative words.. she implies for you too look at.. your situation.. and hers.
Then...
"I have learnt that the worst thing a man can do is leave his woman alone, alone with her fears, alone at home, alone in bed, alone with her dreams, ALONE."
DAM syndrome comes to mind here. Kalni has been "alone" in a different way than your W has been "alone". Yet they feel the same way. The question that comes to mind for me is.. How can this be?
To me the answer is.. "their" scope of thought is very "narrow".
If you stepped on a nail and it went right into your foot.. what are you gonna focus on?
Now the flip side of that is.. you step on a nail.. it goes into your foot.. then I kick you right where it counts.
Now the question is what "hurt" do you focus on?
People tend to focus on what "hurts" them. Even if you did not "see" it.
"The fear of "abandonment" rules us women alot. Not in an obvious way. But it does."
"I have never felt more connected to my man than in the moments he showed me he was there for me."
I am here to tell you.. that these moments don't have to happen everyday. They just need to show up.. at the "best" times.
Think about it.. you just stepped on a nail.. and got kicked.
She walks in and says.. why are you laying on the floor? This house is a mess. What have you been doing all day?
Even in my "crazy" situation.. you can see where things can go wrong.. and where they can go right.
Maybe you need to catch her at the door.. and tell her.. I stepped on a nail.. and Forrest kicked me where it counts.
Just her being human.. I expect you will get a much better result.
"Yes.. I love W to bits but life with her is just drama, natural occurrence or self created but it's just drama."
Remember.. "someone" is always looking at the situation.. differently than you are.
Its hard to figure out.. what people really mean.. unless you understand them.
Keep it simple my friend.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
