25, ouch that hurt. But very true. What you said about what I should be praying about is true. I didn't realize I was telling instead of asking for whatever his will is. I guess b/c I really don't want it to end that way but I know that it may. I do have to say that YES, I am afraid of being alone again. Understand that I was a single mother for a very very long time and had nothing but bad R with other men. My H was not and is not like that before the alcohol got out of controll things were good.
Today was the last day for cattle sorting. I worked very hard on the slide show and it paid off. Everyone really enjoyed it. I got alot of complements on the show and the pictures. Once I get the web site up and running I hope to get alot of orders. The other good thing is that 2 other ranchers want to put some of my pictures on thier sites. Not too bad for never paying for advertizing.
Ok now for the not so good news. I went to the county to check into some sort of assistance, anything would help. NOPE, NOTTA, NOTHING, ZILCH. I qualify for not a damn thing. I am most concerned about rent. I will write a letter to my landlord (who has been wonderful so far) and ask if there would be anyway to decrease the rent for a few months and I would pay something each check. I couln't even imagine what I would do if I have to leave. (I'm not going there). I have been praying more for God to help me and D get through this and to help us survive each day.
Last Friday I guess I missed a court date with H. L said that he had finally filed but I never got the notice. Turns out that court was the one that set the date since it had been so long since we submitted our answer to no petition. Well anyway, H was there and my L said that he looked VERY lost and confussed. Not really sure what was going on and what the next step is. Well at least I'm not the only one L said that the judge told H to take the answer that we filed and look at it and that he would need to respond to it (in a timely manner). I love how the one that files can take there sweet time but the other person has a time limit to respond. Well a court date was set to discuss a temp spousal support order. My wonderful, caring ALIEN of a H was kind enough to offer 300 a mth. My L turned it down and a date was set. Good news is it's over a month away. More time for my pastor to attempt to get through to him. Also this court date is only to discuss the temp order.
My L said that this all has the court confussed since not many people go about a D w/o a L these days. She said that it will probably take a very long time and several attempts for him to continue this since the paper work gets harder each time. Funny thing is that when H was in town you would think that if he wanted his things so bad he would have at least made an attempt to get them. Nope nothing, I didn't even know he was in town and no one else saw him.
As far as Al-Anon goes. I have only been able to make it to 3 mtgs and each time I was the only one there. It doesn't help much when you are the only one talking. I wish it was going better. I have been talking to a few people that have a history with alcoholics either themself or a loved one and they all say that what he is doing is classic. He won't call or communicate not only with me but anyone else close to the sitch because he still has feelings deep down and if he communicates then he is having to deal with the feelings. I did talk to FIL and he hasn't talked to him much at all either.
All I can do is continue to get educated on the matter, have fun with D and do what I need to do to protect our living sitch. I continue to pray that I will follow God's lead instead of doing the leading. I pray for strength and hope. I just really wish I could get some sort of sign. Anything...... I guess I have to stop looking and just keep living huh!!!
Well, thats what is new here. I hope everyone is doing well and I will pray for all of you and continue to look in on each of you.
Love to all, Stacy
H-41 (alcoholic) Me-38 D-13 SD-10 T-6yrs M-4.75yrs Bomb-10/4/08 Moved in w/OW 11-13-08
L said that the judge told H to take the answer that we filed and look at it and that he would need to respond to it (in a timely manner). I love how the one that files can take there sweet time but the other person has a time limit to respond. Well a court date was set to discuss a temp spousal support order. My wonderful, caring ALIEN of a H was kind enough to offer 300 a mth. My L turned it down and a date was set. Good news is it's over a month away. More time for my pastor to attempt to get through to him. Also this court date is only to discuss the temp order.
