I will leave a link to my story at the bottom. We are separated 7 months now. She had an affair after we separated and I am not sure if it is over or not. She gives me signals that it is but does not tell me that it is. She even began to say "If it helps you feel better about things....." than she stopped and wouldn't finish what she was saying. Could she have been trying to tell me something about her relationship with OM?
She told me that " now we are working on our marriage " while before, she had 99% given up which is why she was involved with OM.
My hard work and unconditional love and setting aside of my pride have turned my wife who had both feet out the door of our marriage to the point where she flirts with me ever so slightly when we talk on the phone and sends me links to homes she is interested in in the area in which I live.
Problem is. She has not RE-COMMITTED to the marriage and as far as I know she is at least spending some time with OM still.
On the topic of OM she tells me things like "it isn't what you think it is" though she has openly admitted having had sex w/ him and having "feelings" for him but she loves me and says she "can't imagine a future without me".
So far though she is still very apprehensive about coming back to me and that is largely based on 2 things. She is afraid that my depression will creep back and sabotage my ability to be gainfully employed and she is terrified of my temper. (I have never and will never hit her) but I do explode very loudly.
I am working on myself and I hope she realizes what she can loose if she does not begin to make larger steps toward me.
The very most difficult times in this for me are the weekends when she could be spending time with OM. I experience the worst kind of anxiety and worry that even though I love her and would forgive my wife for hurting me in the past, I don't know if I can forgive her for continuing to do so.
I have searched and searched this site for success stories similar to mine and found at least one that stopped before I could see if there was a resolution but I have seen now success stories in which there was infidelity then reconciliation.
Things are looking better than they were but I am having trouble judging my next step at this point.
