Hello GG and all,
It has been quite awhile since I have checked in to say hi to anyone here though I must admit that I lurk some.

Let me give you a quick update before I respond to your query. Here is my story in outline form:

Bomb 8/04 - classic MLC
H moved out 12/1/04, two weeks before both our 27th ann. & our first GS born
H starts r/s with ow about 8/05
Grandson diagnosed with developmental brain disorder 9/05
S27, DIL and GS move in with me 11/05 (moved from Asia) and stay 2.5 yrs.
D = 11/07 - we kept house b/c of 'kids' living w/ me

My xh has been a drop-in. We did a few periods of 'dark,' sometimes initiated by me, sometimes by him. And now... we are in a time of more intense drop-ins. Like you, I find it somewhat confusing. Does this mean he wants to see ME? Just wants to get projects completed on the house so we can sell (in this market?) like we agreed in the div. agreemt? Trying for idealized version of friends though divorced? Some reason I can't see? We have agreed that neither of us want to let go of some sort of friendship entirely - his parents did this and as the 'kids' in that scenario, it was not great, and we do not want to do that to our two grown sons. I have no idea if he is still seeing ow. So we are painting, fixing, etc, and it is like old times. We get along, have everything in common, reminisce, and today included a visit with the next door neighbor while we were burning brush.

So like you, I am trying to figure out if this is going somewhere, or if it is more of the same. My criteria is that I am done with being in limbo and letting this define what I am going to do with my life. I have also decided that I am past staying entirely within the bounds of db principles which mostly means that I will share as I feel comfortable, rather than as proscribed by the 'rules.' I am not going to wait to see what happens with him (he divorced me for pete's sake!) but if something does, in time, before something else/someone else happens, then great. I need to stay engaged in making my life interesting, happy for me - which has been family, friends, work, some travel, my garden, occasional dating, and now an impending move. So I guess that what I am saying, is that if you can keep your feelings detached and above the uncertainty, and not let it interfere with whatever else you want to do or who you want to see, then entertaining the idea of a reconciliation on the side can perhaps just be like seeing another old friend now and then. You can live your life as it is and just watch as the next chapter unfolds.

OTOH, if it is killing you to 'not know' what he is thinking, then I would go with Jack, and ask. Clearly, reading the tea leaves of your recent meeting has no definitive answer.

Nice to visit with you all again. This board was an absolute life-saver for me for a few years. Now that I am on the other side, I can't say it was all for the good b/c it was not, but I have survived, and thrived.
xxx Amy