REad my thread and see what I did.....not good....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
YR when your h finally came home, did he ever admit to his wrongs? Did he say he was sorry? Did he ever blame you for all his issues? If so, when did the blame stop, before or after he came home.
I love to get insight from those that have walked this last part of the journey. Thanks for sharing.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Yes he did admit to his wrongs. It took a while though. He told me he was sorry right before he came back home for good.
OMG, did he ever blame me for EVERYTHING!!! It was my fault his mom passed, it was my fault that he didn't love me anymore, it was my fault the take out food was cold...... Finally after my h going to C, he knew it was his issues and not mine. He made up for it after he moved home. It has been wonderful.
I remember reading that your H came home and bolted again, but I don't remember the details. Did you tell him to leave and come back when he's ready? I'm going to ask H to go and I would like to hear your opinion...
Thanks!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
If you do a search on yellowrose, you'll find her old threads and you may discover some answers in them. Just thought I would toss that out to you, if you are looking for a quick response. YR doesn't visit as often as she use to...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Snodderly is right, I don't get on the board as much as I used to. I try to get on a least once a day but not always. If I see someone that has posted I will respond.
Anyway, as for my H bolting. I can't even remember how many times he came and left. I know it was alot. Most of the time he would come home for 2 weeks and then got to work and not come home and go back over to the ow's without any kind of notice. This happened for a few months.
A few months before he moved home for good, he told me that he was done with the ow and he wanted some space so he moved into the barracks at the prison so he could get his mind together. I told him tha t it was a good idea. He would call me every night and come over on his days off. I knew there was still some contact with the ow though but I didn't say anything to him at that time.
It started so seem like the A was starting all over again and the calls home stopped and the contact was less and less. I didn't call him and hadn't since a few months after the first move out. He made me very angry one night, I had asked him for money for groceries, something I hadn't done since all of this happened, and he started shouting at me. I finally told him to take a flying leap and shove his money. I told him until he could figure things out with himself, I wanted no contact from him at all. I wanted him to stay away from me! I was so sick of it all and ready to throw in the towel.
A couple of weeks later he started leaving voice mails and saying that he missed me and missed hearing my voice. I didn't pick the calls up because I was tired.
Anyway, things started changing once he was over the ow and got some help with all of his issues. The rest is history...
Hang in there, it will be very rough for quite a while.
