In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[PortlandDad]

Good for you on the nickname change; that is a positive step.

Your letter to your W... well, don't take this the wrong way, but when *I* read it, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

You are a sensitive guy; a lot like me in many ways, actually, but what exactly are you trying to accomplish with this letter? If words were going to have the effect that you desire, don't you think that they would have worked by now?

Do you remember the old James Bond movies where the bad guy would catch 007 and have him tied up and set to expire in some gruesome way? What does said bad guy invariably do? He tells 007 his entire plan! What does 007 do? He escapes, and armed with the information, he foils the master plan and the credits roll. reading your letter felt a lot like the bad guy spilling the plan. Actions! Actions speak a lot louder than words! Your letter is going to be seen by your W as pursuing: talking about "saving your marriage" and the "great marriage" that you can have?! No!

Detach, brother. Detach with your actions. And never, ever tell 'em the master plan! For the same reason that you never let them see you reading DB or DR. Armed with that knowledge, they can foil you.