Don't know how you are doing, b/c it's been a month since your last post. But you h leaving is possibly a gift. I mean, you wanted him to have less custody and rightfully so. Now he does. You wanted more support; now you're more likely to get it. Your kids will have more stability and be able to stay closer to what they know. I'm familiar with the area you live in and the Clovis schools are excellent. And it's a relatively cheap area to live in. You can survive there, though I know that's not fun to hear. Also don't know how long you were married. I assume less than 10 years since that allows for alimony but since you have a L, let her tell you what you can get, etc.
True that your h may not miss you guys much, or starts another family, or has an OW or MLC, or whatever. All of that is out of your control and I don't see how you could do much differently FROM the time of Jan to now. I don't say more than that b/c I don't know what kind of DBing you were doing before, if any. Don't know, and now, it's irrelevant.
His note on the house about being a "good wife" was offensive and showed a remarkable lack of insight on his part. Especially b/c I bet I know what scripture he quoted and what part he omitted (you know, how h's are supposed to put their wives ahead of them, etc?) As for his "unselfish" years, I'm always amazed when I hear something like that as if the entire M was all about HIM working HARD and everyone else shirking their duties, like the kids? or you? With kids that age, give me a break.
His loss. But you know, he is on a voyage of discovery that only he is on. Only he can find his way. I have two relatives who divorced and then remarried their spouses and made it the 2nd time around. But it took 5 years for one and 8 for the other. You are still new to this in the real sense of the word. You have no choice now. You need to do the following, no matter whether you have hope or not.
GAL, db 101, GET A LIFE - that has only your welfare and the kids' in the equation. Get yourself as good a job as you can, live within your means, make sure they have health care, and begin living.
Move forward and swim to the other shore without looking over your shoulders all the time. You'll be freer and happier when you finally feel that you are on the other side of this, and if your h is ever to wake up and figure anything important out, then he'll know where you are and what he has to do. But since you're moving on anyhow, you'll be fine either way. I don't expect him to do this anytime soon, by the way. Sorry.
Your pain is not eternal nor is it fatal. You will survive this and eventually thrive. Really you will. Take care of your children. Where the head goes, the heart will follow and this will get easier.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
