WAW New life with OM

[ppenton]

W came over this morning at 10:00 and left crying by 10:25, and didn't see the kids.
Here is what happened, she was telling me about her day yesterday and asked if I had fun with my friends last night and I told her a had great time. Then I said I wanted to talk about the finances/bank accounts and she said ok. I told her I didn't like the fact she went to the bank to change her online password so I could not see her account anymore without talking to me first and she said she was worried I would talk her out of it. (I tried very hard not to laugh cause we all know we cannot make someone do something) So, I told her I can't make you do anything and she disagreed with me and after back and forth, I just dropped it, as i said its in the past. Then I mentioned I was uncomfortable with her having access to the joint accounts as I'm the one paying the bills. She raised her hand and said she swears to God she will not take any money out, I told her not to do swear (cause I don't trust her) and that we need to find a way to fix this issue. I told her I realize she feels her paycheck is her money and I said my paycheck is my money but we are both responsible for the house and kid expenses. Since, we could not agree on all this, we decided to make an appoint with our MC and he can help us both understand each others point of view.
Next, she wanted to talk to me about S13 and his latest migraine episode. She didn't like my reaction to her when it happened on Wednesday by me saying she dropped the ball on finding a specialist for him. She says she feels terrible since he got the migraines from her and her side of the family and she says she tried to find someone last fall but didn't have any luck. Then she asked me if I feel like she dropped the ball and blame her, I said that my feeling is you did drop the ball on this and many other things you were supposed to do last fall but didn't finish. That's when she ran out of the house crying and I have not from her since and neither have the kids. Funny thing is I don't feel bad about today as I would have in the past. I'm sure she is very surprised by me not backing down or telling her its all ok, cause its not. In the past, I would of told her its not your fault honey and been all nice and hugging her but not any more. I'm not sure I handled all this correctly as I'm still trying to balance between not being taken advantage of and I still want her to come home. But she needs to realize things are changing and we are not best friends right now. We need to build the friendship back up.
So, after she left I went on a long walk and now am waiting for my mom to come over and we will be going to lunch. S15 is out with his girlfriend and S13 is across the street with his best friend. Tonight is our monthly bowling night (which she is not coming) but I'm going cause its fun and lots of my friends will be there!