Hey guys - well that was nice and hard in equal measure! I've been getting alot of visualisations lately, when I talk to my C, or my BFFs, I get an image fully formed, which encapsulates how I feel as we are discussing things. For example, early on in my C, I would see myself as jumbled pieces badly glued back together, a misshapen plastic doll. Anyway....as I was talking to him, I had a sudden sharp image of him holding a baby and a profound feeling that I want to spend my life with this man and have kids with him. Isnt it extrodinary? Noone has lodged themselves so firmly in my soul as this man.
Saffie - I did consider the guilt angle with the Christmas present, because when he first left me it was just before christmas and he had got me no presents, so to make up for that and also knew he was off skiing with Helen. But now - no, my instinct told me it isnt guilt, or being nice, or even friendly (its a BIG stretch for him to be organised enough to get a present in the post, especially as he is so down). I believe he did it, as Kalni said, because he knew he couldnt ignore it, it would be too big a risk of losing the option to get back with me, to keep me hookedr.. but I doubt he thought about WHY he was doing it, he's not being 'mindful' or concious and not aware it could be hard for me, or that it might even be cruel!
Hey Naej - no end to limboland yet! We talked for an hour and 20, as we normally do.. he called back twice in fact, once to move to his car and second time to switch phones, so he didnt need to. So, it was just a chat, but he sounded very very down. He was very sweet though, I will try and post some more of the convo.
