After you gently but firmly make your point if she responds with disrepset or anger, walk away do not engage do not reward.
She is pushing your buttons and you react the same way every time, am I right?
Don't sink to her level, and politely inform her that the conversation is over until you both can talk and not fight.
The opportunity to do a 180 will present itself at some point. She seems interested in keeping peace for now.
The emotions have been in waves this week--anger, sadness, embarrassment, and others. Acceptance is a difficult state of mind to reach.
It's awkward making a transition to being roommates. My car broke down after work on Thursday, so I wasn't able to make it to my dance lesson. She had invited a friend over and had music on, and they were dancing. She told me I looked stressed, and needed to leave the room, because I was upsetting the dog. I left and went to the library so I could have some space.
She emailed me that people in the dance community at the venues we used to go together are asking why I haven't been around lately. I've been going to other venues and studios to build my own network. I'm not comfortable going to a venue where she comes and goes with someone else.
Her neice's ice show is coming up next month, and her nephew is graduating from high school. In the past, I've driven my W and her mother the two hour drive. I told her that it's unlikely that I'm making the trip this time.
I was hanging out at the local used bookstore last night, looking for memoirs, autobiography, and essays to read. I have a studio dance tonight, and a dance venue I can venture to tomorrow. I've been asked to go the Sunday night venue, so I'll have some folks to connect with.
I emailed my brother, to inquire about my nephew's spring soccer schedule. It would be a nice trip for my dog and I to visit a park to watch my nephew play soccer and connect with my brother.
When I notice myself getting too preoccupied, I find a sound to anchor to, and listen to it, to break my rumination, and calm myself down. It helps to some extent. It reminds me to get out of my head so much, and get back to living.
My work life is going well. I moved to the main office of our agency in November, and now work in a larger professional community, instead of a satellite office. I'm enjoying the daily connection with colleagues. I make a point of taking a 1/2 hour break in the lunchroom most days, read a paper if alone, or chat with colleagues if there's a group.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
