Maybe I should be in piecing part 7?

[Hope4us]

LOL Pup.

Well, it's time for "the" talk. Going to do it this morning.

Yesterday at work, W and I were IM trading fools. GREAT conversations. I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and she didn't even flinch before saying it sounded good.

So we go out and are having a good time. Talking, laughing, just enjoying the evening. Then her phone rings and it's her old boss. She was having trouble hearing him and she said "I can't hear you, you're breaking up dear". Then she replied to what I could tell was a question if she was going to be around next week. And then the conversation ended.

I looked at her and said "I can't hear you dear"? And she just looked at me and made some comment like it was just an expression. And it got quiet.

Me: So he's going to be in the area?

W: He's going to be in hometown.

Me: I'm assuming he wants you to have dinner or something?

W: He just asked if I was going to be in hometown by chance next week.

Me: Are you planning on going?

W: I don't even know his plans.

So then it got quiet again and I just sat there looking at her and she was completely avoiding looking at me. At one point she said "would you quit looking at me"?

A few minutes later she started talking again, but it was obvious her mood had changed.

So a bit later we left. The ride home was ok with some talking, but it was fairly quiet.

We get home and W talks some, but again it was more quiet than earlier in the evening. Around time for bed I said to her "I know you don't understand but I'm just hyper sensitive to that kind of stuff". W says "It's just old boss". I said "I understand you feel that way and I won't feel this way forever, but this stuff just makes you hyper sensitive to that kind of thing".

And I just sat there looking at her. She was laying down on the couch by the time this conversation happened and she was just about ready to break down. Her bottom lip was quivering, she was blinking rapidly, like when you're trying not to cry. This went on for probably 5 minutes, me just looking at her and she avoiding looking at me and her face just showing she was about ready to break down.

I finally realized she wasn't going to say anything, so I got up and said "goodnight" and she said "goodnight" back and I went up to bed. She slept on the couch all night.

So this morning I'm going to have the talk. I laid in bed for most of the night thinking and here's what I'm going to say.

"I understand you don't think I should be worried about your friendship with old boss. But it's hard for me given that I still haven't heard a single 'I'm sorry'. You still haven't even said to me 'I want to try'. Through this whole thing, you may be getting what you need to get past this, but I'm not. I feel like you're not concerned at all about how I feel or what this has done to me. You being unwilling to get rid of a few simple things from your A shows me you either don't understand what this has done to me or you don't care what this has done to me and you are unwilling to give me any kind of help getting through this. Lately I've seen you being somewhat secretive again and this concerns me like you can't believe. I NEED openess and honesty from you and right now it's just not there. I still feel like you're hiding stuff from me and I will never be able to get past this hyper sensitive place in my life without you helping me out and doing things that I need to heal."

Going to think some more if I want to say anything else, but I think that might be it and let the conversation go from there.

We'll see what she says. One other thing I thought about doing was seeing if she'll read the article by MWD "Healing from Infidelity" (I have it saved on my laptop) and then talking to her.

Everyone has until about 9:30 to make comments before I talk to her.