not to quibble okay, but I don't expect to ever understand my h or his MLC. I just have to accept that he had a quest I'll never agree with, the costs were enormous to our family and M in so many ways it could NEVER be worth it to me....but I accept that it was to him, probably? Who cares? I will not keep looking back to make sense of anything but my role in it so I don't repeat any thing that could lead to it again. ANd I 'll watch him for any sign of going back into the tunnel and otherwise NO MORE LOOKING BACK OR ASKING WHY WHY WHY???? WHY ME? WHY GOD. WHY?
A 10 y/o at cancer camp told me once she had asked that question about why she was so sick. "I used to ask God why me, God, why? Why? why? WHY? And then I just realized I just was sick...and so, I decided to try and have fun while I'm not sick..." she died the next summer but had learned more in her 10 years than many of do in a life time. It just IS.
What IS important is that you and your wife see your future the same way and want the same things, going forward....that's it. Forget about revising the marital history to get it in agreement or understanding all her actions, or why why why it all happend, or who did what, or whatever but at least now you are not sleepwalking thru your lifel. You are awake!
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
