Still here. Stay the course. You have done the hard work through all of this and know how to handle the end game. The man of honor does not sacrifice tomorrow for a moment of indulgence today. You know this.
Prayers for you and your family.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Hey FIB, you ok? Thinking of you, my friend. Listen, YOU will have to be the one to show your children how to behave with dignity, compassion, and honor because your wife is not capable of that now. Remember they are always watching. Do it for them.
I 'missed' court yesterday. That is, I had permission to do my am surgery and my atty was waiting for me when I arrived. Again...delay. The financial appraisal of my practice is still not complete. NEXT COURT DATE IS 4/23. #$%^&*
One of the issues brought up was discussion of D with the kids. My W accused me of badmouthing her. Meanwhile, if any recall...she had a D discussion with the kids leading my daughter to call me onto her bed to tell me that 'divorce isn't going to be good for me daddy'.
Last night, when I told my STBXW that S8 needed counseling, she tried to rip me a second you know what. She elevated it her screaming and walked into S8's room at 11 PM to wake him up to get details (my son had some scary comments the other day and I chose to speak with my atty and my IC prior to discussing with W). The usual comments about me came out. TBC. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
My son needs help. He has changed in the last few weeks. He said some scary things to me the other day.
Of course, I am the same old shiTlty H. Comments: -you talked over me the entire marriage and now I'm talking over you -liar -attacked me on letting him play shooting video games -I'm trying to edge her out. By enrolling S8 in BBall, it is now 4 practices/games per week and my coaching with D5 makes 5 days...so..I am edging her out.
OK...you know the rest.
She DID say the right things to him when she woke him up. She could have let him sleep and do it in the morning.
I am totally at fault. I am the marital waste product. She has no accountability.
All me, POS FIB.
I reached out to D5's CF MD, who I like and respect. She told me how terrible it was when she went thru HER D and was the brunt of the anger...but...the reason I reached out to her was to find the names of children's psychologists.
That was my main job today. We must agree on the MD.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I know you have a lot going on, I'm just wondering why any of this has to be handled directly with your W. Why can't your L make the request on behalf of you to her L? I'm not second guessing, just trying to understand.
amen amen to letting the L's do the gross stuff and NOT YOU let alone face to face. Why even have L's if you're stuck with the filthy work anyway.? That's not the L's fault, it is you and your w's for taking it upon yourselves to hire lawyers AND YET still haggle about things only L 's can discuss with any objectivity and even THAT will go out the window if your L likes you, which she will.
But this is exactly why we exist and sometimes the hourly fee is TOTALLY Worth it from the clients standpoint and from the L's. I have only had to sit through maybe 20 cases of DIV in 20 years of L practice and I would NOT do it again for less than a million and that's also with 24 hour guard protection. Okay maybe less than a million BUT not without body guards...had to change my locks AND phone number 4 times in 2 years and I prettymuch have narrowed down to 5 clients...lovely...
Having to listen to FIB"s wife SHOULD pay me a fortune. Anyone HERE want to represent HER??? sometimes we L's do earn every cent....and so, FIB, let your L work a few extra hours so you can live a few extra years....
OMG...that's all for now...(( SIGH SIGH SIGH)) three in a row...
FIB,
(((( j ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
FIB, first of all, I am so sorry, my friend. Please do not ever think that all women are like your wife. What is going on betweeh the two of you,well, you are both adults and have to handle it.
But, where the children are concerned, she is out of control. It is NOT ok to wake a sleeping child up and badger him. I am appalled that she would do that. FIB, she is doing a lot of damage. My son is 18 and I still have not said one derogatory thing against my h, not one. I want to do as little damage as I can.
Is it feasible to have a court appointed advocate to make sure the children suffer as little as possible. Maybe they could force your wife into divorce therapy or a parenting class.
Fib, in te meantime, a friend of mine has children about your children's age. She found art therapy for them to be very helpful.
I hope and pray that this ends for you soon. I hope and pray that your wife has an epiphany where the children are concerned. I wish you peace. Oh, and anytime you are up for that cup of coffee, let me know.
Use your lawyer, as 25 suggested. Until one or the other of you is out of the house, your children will be the collateral damage of this divorce war. I am so sorry for that.
Hold on. Stay the course. Do the right thing.
You are a good person. You can do this.
Hugs to you and the kids, Spitty
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
