I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow...!

[1853dave]

OK, so it's Friday night, and no further info about the attorney visit. I'll take that as good news. I thought that perhaps W was going there to evaluate her options, as in "What are my options if he moves back in and THEN things don't work out?" I don't really know, and I have no control over that, so I just will not worry about it. I have better things to do. The W told me not to worry about it several days ago, so I don't think she meant any ill will.

Things have been going ok. I still haven't had any alone time with the W, just time with the kids present, such as before W goes to school (and drops off D9 at bus stop) or when she comes home from school on Fridays while I am still there with D4, or on Sundays / Mondays when I have the girls all day - but I am there only at the beginning or end of the day. But, I have been trying to take advantage of these times. Most of the time there's little interaction - perhaps some light conversation, no more. Sometimes, we actually get a few minutes alone, like in the kitchen. The other day I told her that I'd like to have some one on one time, just to talk - not about anything in particular (certainly not about the R), just about things I have been doing, things at work, or with the family...just talk about stuff. She seemed agreeable to this (!) - I thinik she said, "Yes, I'd like that..." This morning I mentioned it again, using the guise that the DB counselor wanted us to practice our communication skills, but we haven't had the chance with the kids always being around. I asked her if it would be ok if we went on a "little date", say to get a coffee or something. She again agreed, saying "Yeah, that'd be nice..." so I left it at that. We were supposed to have DB counseling today, and was planning to bring it up then.

Well, as fate would have it, she called me an hour before the counseling and told me she had to cancel, since D4 was sounding sick. I felt rather let down, but I understand the situation, and she said she asked the counselor to reschedule the appointment. I'm glad she's so willing to attend counseling and is willing to make the time to go to the sessions. I truly believe that she likes going.

I asked her yesterday (or was it today?) if she thought the counseling "was ok" and she replied positively about it. I'm not making a big deal to her about it, and I think I can see some signs that she wants this to work. It's slow going, for me at least, but she's not in a hurry, and as long as it continues to go well for us, day after day, I think she will be more and more convinced that the changes she sees in me are sincere.

I spoke with her on the phone tonight, and mentioned that since we missed our DB appt today, that maybe we could so something on our own that would be constructive. I mentioned that perhaps if I picked up the girls a couple of hours early on Sunday, that might give her a chance to get an earlier start on her Sunday routine. Then perhaps later I could drop off the girls with Grandma for a couple of hours, and she and I could meet for a coffee or lunch or ??? to just talk, spend some time together... She told me she had 2 tests on Monday, and that perhaps another Sunday would work. I reminded her that I could get the girls a bit early to give her a head start on her day, and she said she'd think about it. She assured me that she was only worried about studying for her tests on Monday. I told her I didn't want too many Sundays to go by without some time for us to work on our stuff, and she agreed...but I assured her that if this Sunday didn't work out that it was OK, and that I understand she needs time to study. She said she'd let me know, and I cheerfully accepted that, and reminded her that it was OK if this Sunday was too busy...and that we could always do another day during the week if things worked out. She was good with that too.

So, I baited the hook, and I'll just wait to see what she does with it. She did seem interested... I am excited about that.

I finished reading DR this week. Time to start it again. I need to review the "homework questions" in the book and update and refine my answers... That book has some sound advice, and although I am new at DBing, I have been applying what I have learned, and it seems to be paying off.

As of right now, the next encounter will be when I pick up the girls for the day on Sunday. I'll try to think of something to get her attention on Sunday...