Here's another AMEN! to not abandoning ME. I started this journey last year, it resulted in my giving H a choice. He chose to drink instead of staying and not drinking. While apart we tried to keep the R going but the same continued. And I learned that with the space I found it easier to seek my space out when things got tough. After five months of the same I went dark. A few weeks later I was called to the hospital - they put him on the phone and he refused to talk to me - I called the next day to check on his status, found out he left AMA and let it go. He has been sober ever since that night. 47 days now. I am still dark because everytime we talk he brings up the same arguments so rather than argue, I choose to be absent and set an example for what I want. The important message is this - I am gradually seeing more clearly where I still the work on myself and healing apart from him and our M. There is a lot of anger between us and a lot of hurt. Good for you to begin the process of healing yourself. We need to keep supporting each other because it works.
