I am only brutal to those I care about, and I care about EVERYBODY, and about ALL MARRIAGES.
And I made many of the SAME MISTAKES you have!
I am of the belief that just giving a bunch of "awwww, Sad, (((hugs!)))" -- while it has its place (read ALL of my posts -- I do do it sometimes), it doesn't help break up an affair, it doesn't help heal a marriage, it doesn't help instruct your children, and it doesn't help grow YOU.
You have answered your own questions: it is YOUR SONS that need for you to model for them (not TELL them, not even TEACH them, but LIVE OUT FOR THEM, every day to the best of your ability, what it means to be a man of character.
Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek, and He forgave the adultress. But He also knew when to throw over the moneychangers' tables when He was filled with righteous indignation, and He also told the woman "to go and sin no more."
Go circle your calendar. Today is the day you BEGIN to take your LIFE back, and your true SELF back. It's not guaranteed to get your WIFE back, but I do guarantee it will make you damned more attractive.
