I battle the "does he have other motives" for being nice every day - mostly around finances and potential custody. It really really is awful. I would not beat your self up for having them though. I guess it keeps us on our toes but yes, it really stinks because to me it is like I cannot enjoy the good time because I always live them with a wary eye.
I also kept asking my husband if he wanted a divorce. Usually when he would talk about the new furniture he got for the house and our son. Again removing me completely from the picture (we are separated).
The actions versus words are enough to put anyone in the funny farm. My husband was just really really confused. Sounds like that might be the case with you. If you want to work it out, confusion is good as it means he is not 100 done.
And looking like the perfect family to the outside world and having things so screwed up is maddening. I can relate.
After months of up and downs and focusing on myself, he wants to attempt to reconcile. This brings its own set of issues but I hope you get there if that it what you want.
