I didn't get to explain what happened this week. Tuesday night H calls out of the blue - there are two reasons I will answer the phone - the first is in case of an emergency - MIL has alzheimer's and can go at any time -DIL is pregnant - and it turns out he just wants to say hi and see how I am doing. He goes on to tell me everything with him and I finally break in to say I (it was true) had just walked in the door from work and was burnt out. But before hanging up I ask if he will meet me to transfer title of the car. He reacts but quietly mumbling things that upset me. I calmly start to respond in kind and feel myself getting agitated so I suggested we stop.
An hour later I emailed my last thought about how he says he wants to see me and work things out but then acts and talks in ways that push me away. Short mail. He emails back a one liner that is telling of how hurt he is and how much he wants to hurt back. I decide to let it go. Next day, another email from him kind of cryptic and so I respond one more time that he is missing the point. I see another long email from him - having a tantrum - so I ignore it. Then again later, another email saying Ok call me when you want. I checked the emails again and it seems that the tantrum occurred right after the phone call and registered out of sequence which explains his last email that everything is ok.
I don't think so. He calls tonight and asks me if I want to meet for coffee, then adds, probably won't want to but I can call if I want. I was pretty angry at first. I wanted a break tonight. I didn't want to think about him or us or any problems. So, I let it go - watched shows I taped - and then journalled my thoughts.I am really tired of this game. I have tried to be nice, fair, open minded, and it doesn't register any change in his behavior toward me.
So, I will not answer his call - I will put off the title change until I am ready to deal with him again. Maybe next weekend or during the week. I know he won't stiff me on that one - he says a lot of stuff but when I ask for something he will do it no matter what he says. One thing I learned about him. If I can put up with the c**p he will deliver.
I am feeling slightly stronger as I think about some of the feedback I get on this board. So here's a giant thank you and hug to everyone who has stopped by.
