Had meeting with IC today and he basically says that I don't need to lose the anger and resentment right now because it is helping to fuel my changes that I am making personally. He tells me (same as you guys) that I need to forget about her and focus on me. Make these changes for me and if it brings her back, then its gravy and if not, oh well, I have made myself better. This is still hard to grasp although I am closer each day.
I had a setback with W today, but it may be for the best. I told her that I was not going to sit around and watch her be with OM and be fine with it. I set boundaries big time. I told her that she will have to choose between him or me and I may not like the outcome, but am willing to accept it. I told her that I do not like the person she has become and that at this point I do not have any trust for her. I told her that I would not wait forever on her and that I was willing to move on and be happy without her. I also told her that I will not be friends with her if we D. I really meant every word and still do. I told her that I had to go into IC and hung up. She then sent a text saying that she will do anything to earn back my respect and trust and that she loves me. My IC backed agreed with everything I said and told me not to back down. Keep up the boundaries and move on and work on me.
She called me when I got out of IC and basically said that she is sorry for everything and wanted it to work too, but she still has to get it back. I told her that I don't want to talk to her anymore about any of this, we will just discuss this stuff in MC if she still wants to go and at this point I do. She is leaving tomorrow for KC with the kids and MIL and I told her that I would call her a couple of times just to talk to the kids but that I didn't think we should talk. I guess I am being a harda$$ but I am sick of this limbo and it needs to move one way or the other. I am not willing to sit around and wait on her to decide between OM and me.
You guys can kill me over this and I probably deserve it, but I gotta do what is right for me and I gotta quit being the doormat!
