I need some opinions/advice/guidance here. It is about Nathan, my six year old.
He has always been high-energy and a happy kid. He got into 'trouble' a few times in Fall semester of kindergarten for messing around,nothing serious, just acting like an energetic little boy when he was supposed to be sitting still/paying attention.
Well, over the past six weeks, he has progressively gotten worse. At home and particularly at school. His teacher has tried to tell me it is no big deal, he is not the worst in class, etc. But this week she is starting to act like it is becoming a bigger concern. In fact she sent my son and 3 other boys down to the counselor today to talk about fighting.
In the past, Nathan was in trouble at recess for play-fighting. Where they pretented to shoot guns at each other, fight with lightsabers, etc. No play involving weapons (real or imaginary) is allowed at school.
Now today he was in trouble because they have stopped the playfighting (due in part to getting in trouble a lot, I assume) and are now doing actual fighting. Again, not that they are mad at each other, but they use their hands on each other to hit/push/shove instead of using pretend weapons.
I think Nathan has had some kind of problem every day this week.
I never told his teacher about our marriage until today. When she came and told me she was sending Nathan to the counselor to talk about fighting...
She said she could see how our situation would be affecting Nathan. Especially since we are so undecided. Just last night Nathan told me he doesn't pray for us to get back together anymore because he knows that we will. Because we got back together last time and he knows we love each other and we say we want to be together....I don't remember exactly what we said when we told him Daddy was moving out, I will have to rethink that. I don't know if this is from stuff his dad and I have said to each other, to him, or that he has overheard.
Anyway I am not sure what to do. Other than probably get him into counseling. Do I need to stop with the Star Wars cartoons and Bionicle books? He doesn't have a video game system and I don't allow any TV with real fighting,the only battles he sees are on Star Wars cartoons/movies.
I am not sure what I should say to Dan. I have tried to tell him in the past that our situation takes a toll on Nathan. He denies that vehemently. Of course it would make him feel guilty to admit if we were affecting Nathan. Instead he prefers to think that I have an inconsistent/ineffective discipline/parenting style. That he parents the children far, far better than I do. (He just doesn't have time to do it full-time like I do.)
Anyway I am starting to think that being in limbo is possibly worse for Nathan than getting divorced. Because he knows we said we aren't getting divorced, so I am sure he is confused as heck and trying to guess/imagine what will happen.
