I can relate. I had a lot of those same struggels as you are having at the beginning of our Reconciliation almost a year ago.
Now, I feel a whole lot better though. I am a lot more relaxed with my H now. We are back to doing almost every thing together again like we used to. He is living with me and we are remodeling a new house together that we will move into in april. I am so excited that we have accomplished all this.
I still get fears that pop in, but I tend to do all I can to trust him and just let the little things slide, and to think positively all the time.
I felt the same about the problems being "his" issues and not "mine". Either way they still exist. Support him and be as happy as you can when your with him. But in order for you both to ever really be happy again, you must allow the time for the healing on both your parts. It sounds like he is still not there yet. Which in turn will only slow down your healing also.
Refocus Yourself. Think about how far you have come. Have you got the KLA tapes from the DB store. I got them and I find it helps to listen to them about how to keep Love alive when your feeling down and out. It may help.
I am so happy to see your still working at your M with your H. It is not an easy task. Keep your chin up and be greatful for all the things you have.I am here for ya, I just dont pop in as often. But I still do check in here and vent here when needed.
