I think your husband wants to change, but he doesnt really know how. and how to stick to it.
On your part, you actually appreciate to some small degree that he is "trying"... but you are discoraged by the backsliding and lack of results.
This is exactly what marriage counselling is for, right?
yeah i know your husband said he wont do that stuff. but its probably the only thing that will work for him.
you say he has been desperately trying to win you back, but you're tired of trying things.
So.... stop trying, and just tell him this:
"If you are TRULY SERIOUS about winning me back, then go to a marriage counsellor, and do what they tell you to do. Every [week/2 weeks], for 3 months. Then I'll see how I feel again".
If he's serious about wanting you back, he will do it.
If he refuses, then kick his half-assed ass, to the curb with no regrets.
How does that sound?
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
