I think you're right. And it's not about "control" in a bad way, like I was in my M, but being so much in limbo, praying, hoping, and walking on egg-shells for the last 20 months, had me hoping to avoid the inevitable. Now that it keeps coming at me, at her initiation, I feel, at times, like I'm backed into a corner.
My friend told me months ago that I should drive some of these actions, but I never wanted to lose all hope and force her hand if there was a prayer left for us. But now, I think I'd feel better if I started to take an active role in the D. I think I'll start canceling some unused joint credit cards, check into the house re-fi, open a new back account, etc. If there's a miracle change-of heart, all of those things can be reversed, but I don't think I want to sit on the side lines any longer, frozen in my tracks, and watch her leave me behind.
