I didn't tell my sister immediately, but as the pressure built up (and it looked as though H would never disentangle from the OW) I confided in her. I think I defended him a bit to her, because I knew she had always liked him--ie, I explained much of his behaviour in terms of MLC and depression. Another good friend of mine had gone through her H's MLC a few years earlier, and she was invaluable! It was good to know I wasn't alone or crazy, and she was never afraid to give hard-hitting advice. We managed to laugh about it so much together, despite everything. I know what you mean about the story being unbelieveable; I've thought about writing a book about it all--a sort of antidote to romance novels, yet funny. But after reading a number of the stories here, it feels like I've heard enough versions of the same old tale.
You're really wise to keep that written reminder of H's crazy-speak. I kept a journal as well, both of H's wildly fluctuating utterances and of my own attempts to find some equilbrium. In the months between my H recommitting verbally and mentally, I read it again, and was blown away by all the pain he'd caused. I asked him if he still felt certain things (that he'd been adament about at the time, and that I had trouble forgetting), but for the most part he couldn't remember saying them. Some things--for example, that the OW was utterly blameless--he still believed, which really hurt because it meant she was still a fantasy projection for him. I think at some point I need to destroy those notebooks to complete the forgiveness process.
It does sound totally normal not to want to commit at this point. Your trust has been broken, which makes it hard to commit to people, and because you've lost your image of who you were in the relationship, it's hard to "see" yourself in new roles. Is there a bit of depression in there, too--that makes it very hard to give yourself when you feel you need to nurture your energy? I remember that for a few days after each bomb I couldn't even commit as far as getting into a conversation with acquaintances, months later I couldn't invite people over ... it does get better (you must be sick of hearing that!
I hope you have a good weekend! I won't be on much next week, as the kids have spring break (and seem to think the computer is therefore theirs!?!), but I will be sending you good wishes!
