I think I posted shortly that I get the feeling that if I lead W will follow, I think that's pretty much the case, also I think this last round of shenanigans is all about her crying out for my attention, (again) although I wish she would just speak up instead of jumping into destructive action first.
Bit of background, about 5 years ago FIL and a friend of his developed bowel cancer within months of each other both were treated at the same time but their recovery has take slightly different paths. FIL was operated on and was clear of cancer until last year. The friend of FIL was operated on but needed a colostomy. Sadly he never really fully recovered all his powers and he finally past last month. W was really upset about his passing as she planned to go to see him the day he passed and didn't get to say goodbye. Ironically I even posted about W being angry with me that day.
Last year FIL cancer returned but this time on his lungs, he was operated on and this was thought to be a success. However the latest scans have shown abnormalities on his lungs, chest and liver. We're not sure what the long term future is, but the immediate is 6 months of gruelling chemotherapy, the chemo makes him really ill and takes it's toll on him and those around him. If you add to this W has a long standing lung complaint which she is now associating with cancer then you can see that she has a lot going on in her head which she has been bottling up.
So recently when I have been doing my own thing, W has been coming home in the evening and sees me on the computer ironically scanning the DB site she then gets angry cos I'm not giving her the attention she wants. Part of her thinks I have friends on line possibly female and that sets her off on a destructive path. Part of her actions is getting attention from other men, part of it releasing anger on me.
Back to last night W was in floods of tears about FIL condition so all I could do was sit with her, today she kinda open up a little bit about her fears for FIL and for herself and is leaning on me for support. So I am remembering something Kalni sunshine posted to me sometime ago and that is just to be there for W and reassure her.
So while I think W has been acting crazy or is crazy, now is not the time to pull back and play games, as Rob so rightly points out it could easily back fire. So I have to find that balance between GAL and making me a better me while still emotionally supporting W. It may sound like I'm making excuses for W but that's the reality of it. Funny thing, now that W has my full attention she is back to talking about us and the things we need to do to get through all of this critical time.
Seriously you couldn't make all this stuff up, its my life and life is so weird.
